We love bathtime.
Pluto loves bathtime.
And Peach and Patoot love watching bathtime.
So they have a special stool to share for the audience.
When only one comes in, they ask to be the "audien". You know, one audien, two audiens.
Almost bilingual
Wednesday, April 28, 2010
Thursday, April 8, 2010
Super Size Pluto
Alert the producers of "Biggest Loser". One of their contestants is "off the reservation". Yep. She's escaped and she's hiding out here in Stepford, disguised as a public health nurse.
How do I know this? Because I spent a substantial chunk of my morning yesterday being lectured on the subject of nutrition in general and specifically baby nutrition and eating habits by a woman who passed the "morbidly obese" mark three dress sizes ago.
Her: Pluto's not eating enough. She's losing ground in the percentiles race. (So speaketh the local expert in eating "enough".)
Me: Pluto weighs in ahead of Peach at this age. "She's ahead on all her milestones," I tell her, but she doesn't hear me: her cellphone is blasting so loud they hear it downtown.
Her (hand over cell phone receiver for a moment): She needs to weigh more.
Me: (This lady couldn't weigh more.) She sits and army crawls.
Her: (signing off with the cell companion.) Breastmilk is insufficient nutrition for an active 6-month old.
Me: (And how do you define "active", channel surfing?) Babies don't absorb nutrition from solids at this age.
Her: That's okay. She needs to eat a proper meal of fruit and a proper meal of vegetables every day. (You could try some vegetables too, Nurse Ratched.)
Her cell phone rings again, but she still has a moment for Pluto's health. "She needs to plump up. At least 1 kilo in the coming month."
Me: Isn't that kind of a lot for this age?
Now she's annoyed. She has a phone call and I'm still doubting the plan to fatten the Christmas goose. "I expect to see serious weight gain in one month."
The road to perdition and poor eating habits starts right now, right here, in Stepford. Public health, as practiced by a super-sized nurse. Nutrition according to Ronald McDonald.
Call "Biggest Loser", this lady is not with the program.
How do I know this? Because I spent a substantial chunk of my morning yesterday being lectured on the subject of nutrition in general and specifically baby nutrition and eating habits by a woman who passed the "morbidly obese" mark three dress sizes ago.
Her: Pluto's not eating enough. She's losing ground in the percentiles race. (So speaketh the local expert in eating "enough".)
Me: Pluto weighs in ahead of Peach at this age. "She's ahead on all her milestones," I tell her, but she doesn't hear me: her cellphone is blasting so loud they hear it downtown.
Her (hand over cell phone receiver for a moment): She needs to weigh more.
Me: (This lady couldn't weigh more.) She sits and army crawls.
Her: (signing off with the cell companion.) Breastmilk is insufficient nutrition for an active 6-month old.
Me: (And how do you define "active", channel surfing?) Babies don't absorb nutrition from solids at this age.
Her: That's okay. She needs to eat a proper meal of fruit and a proper meal of vegetables every day. (You could try some vegetables too, Nurse Ratched.)
Her cell phone rings again, but she still has a moment for Pluto's health. "She needs to plump up. At least 1 kilo in the coming month."
Me: Isn't that kind of a lot for this age?
Now she's annoyed. She has a phone call and I'm still doubting the plan to fatten the Christmas goose. "I expect to see serious weight gain in one month."
The road to perdition and poor eating habits starts right now, right here, in Stepford. Public health, as practiced by a super-sized nurse. Nutrition according to Ronald McDonald.
Call "Biggest Loser", this lady is not with the program.
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