That's right, it's draft season in Stepford and Patoot and Peach are expecting a new teammate at the end of the month. The whole Little Stepford team is very excited about the impending signing.
Patoot and Peach have suggested calling her Princess, but that occurs to all of us as rather cliched. With older siblings soooooooo excited to meet her, she's likely to be quite spoiled anyway. We hardly need to worsen the situation by naming her Princess. She'll just be a princess without the capital letter.
So for now her name will be Player, and she'll be named later. Suggestions welcome.
Monday, August 31, 2009
Tuesday, May 19, 2009
Reality check
Sometimes we all need a reality check of one sort or another.
Sometimes we need a reality check to determine we really are in the global capital of "Everyone is cousins so everyone can parent your kid".
Well check and check.
Today we were waiting for the light to change so we could cross. We would be myself on my bike, Puppy on her leash, and Peach, on the back of the bike.
Unidentified Grandmother We've Never Seen Before arrives to the crossing from behind us, stopping next to Peach. "That's no good. Stop that right now," UGWNSB orders Peach. I twist around to see who has come up from behind to accost my child. UGWNSB is trying to pull Peach's thumb out of her mouth.
UGWNSB is dressed like most Stepford Grandmothers: Her hair is coiffed and covered with a small black straw hat and she's wearing a flowered short-sleeve jacket to match her dress. What doesn't match is the pack of Marlboro sticking out of the jacket pocket. "Stop that thumb-sucking right now."
"You smoke," I point out to UGWNSB. She is yanking harder on Peach's arm, to no avail.
"True," UGWNSB admits.
"Same habit," I tell her.
"Not at all," UGWNSB counters.
"Unresolved need to put something in your mouth," I smile politely. In fact, I'm not particularly anti-smoking. If UGWNSB wants to, her thing. I am, however, virulently against Unidentified Grandmothers grabbing Peach's wrist and trying to yank her thumb out of her mouth.
"Oh no!" UGWNSB is surprised I could make such an error. "Thumb-sucking is much worse! It's going to ruin her teeth."
In the battle for the thumb, Peach 1, UGWNSB 0. Thumb stayed. In the battle not to go on crazed hormonal tirades at strangers, Mommy 1, UGWNSB 0 (for failing to cause said hormonal tirade, hard as she tried).
Tally for traffic light: Temper tantrums by accosted kids = 0. Temper tantrums by moms = 0. Temper tantrums by insulted Unidentified Grandmothers = x (we'll never know because the light mercifully changed).
Sometimes we need a reality check to determine we really are in the global capital of "Everyone is cousins so everyone can parent your kid".
Well check and check.
Today we were waiting for the light to change so we could cross. We would be myself on my bike, Puppy on her leash, and Peach, on the back of the bike.
Unidentified Grandmother We've Never Seen Before arrives to the crossing from behind us, stopping next to Peach. "That's no good. Stop that right now," UGWNSB orders Peach. I twist around to see who has come up from behind to accost my child. UGWNSB is trying to pull Peach's thumb out of her mouth.
UGWNSB is dressed like most Stepford Grandmothers: Her hair is coiffed and covered with a small black straw hat and she's wearing a flowered short-sleeve jacket to match her dress. What doesn't match is the pack of Marlboro sticking out of the jacket pocket. "Stop that thumb-sucking right now."
"You smoke," I point out to UGWNSB. She is yanking harder on Peach's arm, to no avail.
"True," UGWNSB admits.
"Same habit," I tell her.
"Not at all," UGWNSB counters.
"Unresolved need to put something in your mouth," I smile politely. In fact, I'm not particularly anti-smoking. If UGWNSB wants to, her thing. I am, however, virulently against Unidentified Grandmothers grabbing Peach's wrist and trying to yank her thumb out of her mouth.
"Oh no!" UGWNSB is surprised I could make such an error. "Thumb-sucking is much worse! It's going to ruin her teeth."
In the battle for the thumb, Peach 1, UGWNSB 0. Thumb stayed. In the battle not to go on crazed hormonal tirades at strangers, Mommy 1, UGWNSB 0 (for failing to cause said hormonal tirade, hard as she tried).
Tally for traffic light: Temper tantrums by accosted kids = 0. Temper tantrums by moms = 0. Temper tantrums by insulted Unidentified Grandmothers = x (we'll never know because the light mercifully changed).
Friday, April 17, 2009
Unteaching
Or Teachers who try desperately not to Teach.
Heaven forfend.
Patoot comes back to school after almost three weeks of spring break. Patoot tells teacher and 2nd grade class that a dove is nesting between his window and his shutter. There appears to be one egg in the nest.
Teacher takes full advantage of teaching opportunity to share some fun things about birds and how they lay eggs and keep them warm. No.
Teacher suggests Patoot take full advantage of the learning opportunity for instance by journaling his observations or at least counting days until egg hatches, if it hatches. No.
Teacher counsels class on coexisting with wildlife in urban environment. "Not our pets. Don't disturb. Don't hurt or injure." No.
Teacher says "That's bad. Doves carry disease." Yes.
Cancel the peace movement: doves are bad.
Speed dial Noah: no doves on the ark.
It's not like I have ever loved Teacher but I have held my tongue. If she doesn't continue next year as Patoot's 3rd grade teacher, she will almost certainly be Peach's 1st grade teacher.
Tally for lunch : sandwiches on real live honest to goodness bread = 4, tantrums by kids = 0, wild tirades against teachers = 1. Yay Mommy.
Heaven forfend.
Patoot comes back to school after almost three weeks of spring break. Patoot tells teacher and 2nd grade class that a dove is nesting between his window and his shutter. There appears to be one egg in the nest.
Teacher takes full advantage of teaching opportunity to share some fun things about birds and how they lay eggs and keep them warm. No.
Teacher suggests Patoot take full advantage of the learning opportunity for instance by journaling his observations or at least counting days until egg hatches, if it hatches. No.
Teacher counsels class on coexisting with wildlife in urban environment. "Not our pets. Don't disturb. Don't hurt or injure." No.
Teacher says "That's bad. Doves carry disease." Yes.
Cancel the peace movement: doves are bad.
Speed dial Noah: no doves on the ark.
It's not like I have ever loved Teacher but I have held my tongue. If she doesn't continue next year as Patoot's 3rd grade teacher, she will almost certainly be Peach's 1st grade teacher.
Tally for lunch : sandwiches on real live honest to goodness bread = 4, tantrums by kids = 0, wild tirades against teachers = 1. Yay Mommy.
Tuesday, January 20, 2009
A fond farewell
Daddy's grandfather died Sunday.
The first thing he ever said to me was "Hi, I'm Eli. I love you. Do you want to know why?"
Sure. Who wouldn't want to know?
"Daddy picked you. I love you."
You've got a deal, I told him. We laughed and we were friends.
Along the way I gained a grandfather, something I didn't have as a child.
Patoot and Peach were privileged to have a great-grandfather for seven and a half years, a fact that still amazes me. I hope their short acquaintance with him helps them grow up with even half his grace.
Patoot and Peach, I wish you his sharp analytical mind, his quick smile and his warmth.
Saba Eli rest in peace. You made a difference.
The first thing he ever said to me was "Hi, I'm Eli. I love you. Do you want to know why?"
Sure. Who wouldn't want to know?
"Daddy picked you. I love you."
You've got a deal, I told him. We laughed and we were friends.
Along the way I gained a grandfather, something I didn't have as a child.
Patoot and Peach were privileged to have a great-grandfather for seven and a half years, a fact that still amazes me. I hope their short acquaintance with him helps them grow up with even half his grace.
Patoot and Peach, I wish you his sharp analytical mind, his quick smile and his warmth.
Saba Eli rest in peace. You made a difference.
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