It's 10:30 on Friday night and Peach has a stomach virus. As I leave the apartment carrying my fourth load of laundry to hang up on the roof, a 20-something-if-even-that woman leaves the apartment next door. She's wearing make-up and a dressy coat. "Have a nice night!" She says cheerily in the tone of one for whom the adventure begins at 10:30 on Friday night. And then, "Oops", in the tone of one who accidentally just wished a paraplegic "Good luck" in the Boston Marathon.
I have one thing to say and I'll even take the clothespin out of my mouth to say it clearly.
"Chiquita, in ten years I will attend your Stepford induction ceremony. I will hand you your regulation sweats. Dismayed, you will run home to shower, where you will discover that all but the last three drops of your expensive salon shampoo has been used as bubble bath."
Oops.
Chiquita, Stepford is out there.
In the meantime, buy stock in Procter & Gamble, makers of Tide. We're on our second load today and we've run out of laundry lines on the roof.
Saturday, December 20, 2008
Tuesday, December 9, 2008
Made in China
Daddy's in Hong Kong this week.
Let's see what we know about Hong Kong ...
It's a big city with very tall buildings.
It's Chinese.
It's night time there at inconvenient times.
The toys all say "Made in Here".
So far, by the way, so good. Everyone is handling Daddy's absence with aplomb.
Much to everyone's surprise, we can get two kids and a dog out the door before the school bell rings (Thank goodness school is two doors down the street!) and back home in one, reasonably cheery piece.
Well except once.
While Patoot was at kung fu, Mommy and Peach stopped for coffee and a rogelach respectively.
After kung fu, Peach announces "Let's have a secret. Let's not tell Patoot what you got me from the coffee place."
Except Patoot was right there. And except kids who stop for coffee always get rogelach. So it wasn't much of a secret. And Patoot immediately demanded "fairsies" - that he get rogelach on a day Peach doesn't. And he had the day planned.
And then we get "Why did you tell him? It was a SECRET!!!"
Tally for after school activites: gymnastics = 1, kung fu = 1, tantrums = 1 all the way home.
Let's see what we know about Hong Kong ...
It's a big city with very tall buildings.
It's Chinese.
It's night time there at inconvenient times.
The toys all say "Made in Here".
So far, by the way, so good. Everyone is handling Daddy's absence with aplomb.
Much to everyone's surprise, we can get two kids and a dog out the door before the school bell rings (Thank goodness school is two doors down the street!) and back home in one, reasonably cheery piece.
Well except once.
While Patoot was at kung fu, Mommy and Peach stopped for coffee and a rogelach respectively.
After kung fu, Peach announces "Let's have a secret. Let's not tell Patoot what you got me from the coffee place."
Except Patoot was right there. And except kids who stop for coffee always get rogelach. So it wasn't much of a secret. And Patoot immediately demanded "fairsies" - that he get rogelach on a day Peach doesn't. And he had the day planned.
And then we get "Why did you tell him? It was a SECRET!!!"
Tally for after school activites: gymnastics = 1, kung fu = 1, tantrums = 1 all the way home.
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